Day 7: I’m camping out in my living room. It’s like the vacation I never wanted. I hate camping. I’m waiting for the power to come back on, but it’s been a week. At night, I read by candlelight. Maybe I can catch up on my reading.
A National Guardsman tells me that big earthquakes hit all over, not just here. It was really bad. People are scared. Some say it’s “The End of Days”.
Day 10: It’s quiet, too quiet. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. My water stores are gone. I hate municipal water, and I had enough bottled water to last a few days--with rationing I made it to today. I ate everything in the fridge I could before it spoiled, but now I’m down to boxed cereal and saltines.
Day 13: It’s terrifying! I’ve read everything on my bookshelf, including The Disaster Diaries: One Man’s Quest to Learn Everything Necessary to Survive the Apocalypse by Sam Sheridan. He suspected our civilization danced on the edge of the abyss. He took the steps needed to protect his family. Me? I have a bowl of Wheat-Os, hot sauce, and lime juice….
Face it. Sooner or later the feces is going to hit the fan belt. Life is pretty good, but it doesn’t mean it always will be. Anything is possible. A shift in a tectonic plate, geothermic explosion, alien invasion, nothing is unthinkable. Good times never last.
Sam wanted to be ready. He didn’t want to just “bunker up” He wanted to really prepare. He wanted to learn the skills he might need. Not just physically but mentally and philosophically. He needed to feel he knew what he was doing.
He knew he needed to be strong. Knowing how won’t save you if you can’t decapitate a zombie. You can never know when the big one will hit, but you can be in control of yourself—you can get in shape. A strong body is also important for a strong mind.
Physical condition is linked to the mental, and trained athletes handle stress hormones better. Since athletes are better able to handle stress, and Sam chose to strength train Olympic style. Olympic lifting is one big, quick movement. It trains an attribute, not just how strong, but how fast—power.
Getting the point of attack before your opponent does is what counts. Sam made sure that once he had the strength and speed, he knew what to do with it. He took Filipino knife fighting from a master of the art, as well as classes in anatomy. Yes, guns are good and he trained with those too, but bullets run out.
Being strong and fast and well armed and surviving an alien invasion doesn’t mean much if you can’t start a fire, build a basic shelter, or shoot some protein. He trained with some of the best survivalists. Learning to make a fire, stay hydrated, and realized the best thing to have in your bug out bag is a mechanic or a doctor.
If you want to live off the land, you have to get out of the city. You might need to steal a car, but the hotwire is Hollywood. It takes too much time. You “flare” the ignition with a dent puller, and use a flathead screwdriver. Then drive that car like you stole it, and for that there’s stuntman class.
Sam found there was no need to be paranoid. Be prepared. Preparing for the Apocalypse is walking that fine line between self-reliance and paranoia. If it makes your life better, it’s positive. If it’s destructive to your life, it’s not. Enjoy learning new skills, but you can’t control everything. Sometimes you just have to let it go.
Day 37: My feet hurt. I’m out of gas for the jeep. The nozzle of my flamethrower is cracked, and I didn’t grab a spare. I’m almost out of napalm anyway. It wasn’t the best choice for zombies, but you don’t get to your second month without getting through your first.
It’s time to make camp and eat my one allotted MRE* There’s a house up ahead that doesn’t look like it’s been ransacked. Maybe I’ll find an axe, or an apple tree, or even a book I haven’t read…
*Officially, Meal Ready to Eat , but eat too many of these and they are Meal Refusing to Exit
End of Days? Or Days without end? Email me at from_my_shelf@yahoo.com and let me know. Miss a past column? Find them all at http://frommyshelf.blogspot.com , but do it before the juice stops flowing. I’m stocking up for the Apocalypse, because running out of reading material really is Hell on Earth…
No comments:
Post a Comment