To Respond or Not to Respond? Reading & Writing in Our Social Media Age

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A customer called today to order a book. I was pleased with her initiative in contacting us via facebook, especially since she's a senior citizen. She gave me her payment information and her address, so we could ship it to her. She can't get out much now, due to health concerns of her own, she said. Then, she paused, and said, “I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'd like to give you some feedback.”

I braced myself a little, because I have been sensitive for most of my life. I told her, “No, that's fine; go ahead. I appreciate your feedback,” and I meant it, knowing it's good for my professional and my personal growth at this stage of my life.

“I want to applaud your bravery in sharing your diagnosis, your struggles, and your triumphs with bipolar disorder,” she began, “especially since I, too, have had some mental health troubles of my own. But you've posted quite a lot about it lately on your facebook page, and that's enough. You're beating a dead horse now. Yes, yes, we know you're bipolar; we still love you. So you don't have to announce it any more.”

Again, I thanked her for sharing her opinion with me. I paused, trying to gather my thoughts, before explaining to her, briefly, why I continue to post information – not just about my journey with bipolar, but about mental health issues, in general. I share, in the newspaper, on facebook, in various conversations with friends in the community, in order to advocate. To educate. To try to help end the stigma which is not just a continuing problem for all discussions of mental health, but which becomes a potentially lethal enemy in the fight to save people from illnesses all too misunderstood, hidden, and shamed into silence.

As I've since thought about that conversation, I've decided I can't just politely, quietly accept her feedback. I'd no more ask a friend with bipolar to stop posting information about it than I'd ask my friend who survived ovarian cancer to stop posting about the Relay for Life, or about important anniversaries in her recovery.

In this age of social media, public personalities are no longer just for movie stars. If we choose to blog, tweet, or post, aren't we inviting the world to comment? Even, in a slightly more old-fashioned way, if we write columns for a newspaper or a magazine, or write a book, or speak on a television show, we open ourselves up to public opinion. In this uber-public society, though, before we comment, give feedback, react, rant, write rebuttals, or flame someone for what they have said, I would suggest we all start asking ourselves a few important questions. We seem to forget the critical thinking part, the skills of introspection that reading and writing used to develop. Before we respond to something we've read, we need to ask ourselves, first, “what right does the writer have to write-post-comment publicly about this issue?” I believe the answer, especially in the U.S., is that everyone, in almost any situation, has the right to write. And the reader has the choice, then, whether or not to read it.

If the content or delivery upsets you, don't read it. Or better yet, be brave enough to read it, and ask yourself WHY it bothers you. You may come away understanding the other person's viewpoint better. You may still disagree, but with better insight into your own opinions and experiences.