"Introduction to Planetary Defense"

Kevin Coolidge

I remember the stars. No, I remember the promise of the stars--the promise of a future antiseptic and soft around the edges. A promise shattered by the hard reality of the arrival of the Overlords. Now, my days are filled with pain and torment. I labor from dawn to dusk, scrabbling across the harsh desert, imploring the dry earth to give rise to the stark monument demanded by the Overlords to symbolize their power and prestige. I’m but a slave, and according to our masters, a slave requires nothing but work, food, and religion, but I require something more. I require hope. No, I require retribution. I grab a rock. Its rough texture fills my hands. It fills my heart. “Bless this rock, oh Lord. May it crush my enemies’ exoskeleton…”

I grew up reading and loving science fiction, and I love reading about aliens. Any story from aliens-are-hungry and coming-to-eat-us, to earth-needs-to-be-demolished-to-make-way-for-an-interstellar-superhighway, but I always found these books in the science fiction section. An Introduction to Planetary Defense: A Study of Modern Warfare Applied to Extra-Terrestrial Invasion is, just like its title says, a book discussing possible events in case an extraterrestrial invasion force one day appeared and started attacking Earth. But it's not a work of fiction.

Nope, the authors are dead serious. The authors, all highly-educated experts in their fields, decided to apply serious science to the matter of defending earth from an alien invasion. They start from the perspective of probabilities. These guys have done their homework and have done a nice breakdown of the “Drake equation”, which Cornell astronomer Frank Drake developed for estimating the number of probable civilizations in the Milky Way. They’ve done the math and according to the “experts” there’s a very good probability of at least one ET visit in the course of the average earthling’s life span.

Hmm, since mathematics isn’t my strongest subject, I’m not going to check their work. But I am familiar with Fermi’s paradox, which is the apparent contradiction between the high probability of extraterrestrial civilizations and the lack of evidence or contact with such civilizations. You know, just where is everybody? For a great book on the subject, check out If the Universe is Teeming with Aliens…Where is Everybody? Fifty Solutions to Fermi’s Paradox and the Problem of Extraterrestrial Life by Stephen Webb. It gives 50 hypotheses on why we haven’t found empirical evidence of probes, starships, or email from little green men.

Ok, so it’s a pretty big universe, and there’s at least a possibility that we aren’t alone. So what are we gonna do about it? Well, just because the authors are paranoid, doesn’t mean ET isn’t out to get ‘em. SETI(the search for extraterrestrial intelligence) is basically beaming radio signals advertising “Hey, we’re over here”. They might as well put up a neon sign that says “Eat at Joe’s”. Face it, the chance for ET being hostile is at least equal to him being benign and showering us with great technology—such as can openers that actually work.

The authors examine modern warfare and how we might possibly implement our ability to wage war against a significantly advanced alien force. They used various fancy force multipliers and simulations, to come to the conclusion that ET would kick our butt, and that in order to have any chance of survival, a reserve force (the general population) and asymmetrical war (guerrilla tactics) would need to be harnessed to have a fighting chance. These guys motto is “prepare now, survive later.” So, it may come at no surprise that they support a big military budget on such things as space lasers and powered armor. I get the impression that these PhDs just want to blow stuff up in a really big, expensive way.

There are also some attempts to examine invading motives of aliens. The human race knows only two motivators. These are 1. Desire for gain and 2. Fear of loss. Aliens may want slaves, food, or just to pick up earth chicks, but the thing to remember about aliens is well, that they’re aliens. I did find how mankind might react to an invasion an interesting section. Will we believe it? How will our beliefs and response aid or hinder the overall defense of Earth? Will religious, moral, and ethical beliefs influence the decision-making process, and what are we going to do if the aliens end up looking like demons, or cute, fluffy bunnies? For a more complete look at this fascinating subject, I recommend Contact with Alien Civilizations: Our Hopes and Fears about Encountering Extraterrestrials by Michael Michaud. His analysis suggests that contact is a serious - and not necessarily pleasant - possibility....

Whatever you wish to believe, I have to give the four authors credit for some serious chutzpah (courage bordering on arrogance, roughly equivalent to “nerve”) for writing this book. The book did leave me with some thought-provoking questions, and I recall the axiom of my history teacher, “those of you who fail to learn history, will be doomed to repeat it.” It brings to mind the Native American tribes of the New World. Surely, if they had known what the white invaders had planned, they would have never granted him a green card? Hmmm…maybe the surest sign of intelligent life in the universe is that they haven’t tried to contact us…

Comments, questions, let ET phone home or hold an alien autopsy? Email me at frommyshelf@epix.net Hey, all of our past columns can be found at http://frommyshelf.blogspot.com check out the ones you missed. The cat wrote a book, Hobo Finds a Home: A children’s book about a barn cat who wanted more out of life. Illustrated by Susan M. Gage written by Hobo.