Learning to Love You More!

No matter what we say, or what we preach, we all judge books by their covers. Without a doubt, there are a multitude of reasons for this, from our hard-wired neurology to long-established social patterns to frequent laziness. Although working with used books does help me in my attempts to break myself of this habit – learning that there are still some real treasures hidden inside those dirty covers without pretty dust jackets – I still often grab a book from the shelf because it catches my eye.

So, it is with complete honesty that I tell you that I would have completely missed out on the book I’m presenting to you this week, Learning to Love You More, by Harrell Fletcher and Miranda July. Based on the cover photo – an older couple, embracing and smooching – and based on the title, I would have dismissed the book as yet another book on relationships. If I’d seen a copy of this book, at a library sale, for example, I would have reflected on how the bookstore self-help section is already quite full, thank you very much, and gone on my merry way.

Lucky for me, though, I read a newsletter recommending this book among a few other choices for creative folks, and was intrigued enough to buy a copy. Now I need to pass this recommendation on to you, since I have my doubts as to whether you would choose this book from the shelf, and maybe you, too, would be sad to miss out on the fascinating, unique, vibrant treasures that await inside.

The authors of this book – the editors, really – are artists. Their book, Learning to Love You More, and the accompanying website, asks everyone to be artists and writers, too. The “LTLYM” project encourages people to delve into their pasts, giving short assignments that spark the imagination, invite reflection, spur collaboration. In their introduction, Fletcher and July explain how, “sometimes it is a relief to be told what to do.” Indeed, as these artists show, an assignment is not always a limitation, but instead a springboard.

The website they launched in 2002, www.learningtoloveyoumore.com, has been an ongoing participatory project until this past May of 2009, when they finally stopped accepting new “results” and decided to maintain it as an archive. The book, too, is a collection of wonderful, hugely varied examples of people’s responses to the 70 suggested assignments.

The assignments run the gamut from quick and easy – # 33 braid someone’s hair – to intense and thought-provoking – # 59 interview someone who has experienced war. Looking at the responses people from all over the world have shared, I find myself inspired and touched. In our society where every detail of anyone’s life is made public, be it truly intimate or ridiculously inane, on Twitter and facebook or American Idol and major media headlines, I am so glad to find people who encourage us: if we are going to share so much of ourselves, what do we have that is worth sharing? Fletcher and July ask us to put some thought and effort into this need we have to share ourselves with the world.

Hobo had a little blog, whose commentary was varied. Every person Hobo met, he tried to make them merry. Share your love and creative process with Hobo by emailing him at frommyshelf@epix.net, or by reading his blog at http://frommyshelf.blogspot.com.