"Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate." Ambrose Bierce.
Never saw Joe in a tie before – or a suit, now that I think of it. Hair combed, shoes polished, pants ironed: he’s looking pretty good for a dead guy. There’s a large turnout here at the funeral home. Joe knew just about everyone, and everyone knew Joe. Give Joe a chance and he’d talk your ear off. Telling a joke to get a laugh, or telling his favorite fishing story—Joe loved fishing so much that his wife used to joke that he’d die fishing. She was right, but there’s worse ways to go. I’m sure going to miss Joe, but I wonder if I’m ever going to get back my fly-tying vice?
I knew Joe didn’t want to be buried in the cold, dark ground, but rather cremated and his ashes scattered at his favorite fishing hole. I knew it, because he told me over a cold beer on a hot summer day, but he never actually wrote it down anywhere. Death, funerals, burials, wills—these are things that you never talk about, but someday you’ll have to plan for them, for yourself, or for a loved one. It’s not an easy thing to plan for, but Death for Beginners by Karen Jones, and When I’m Gone by Kathleen Fraser, can make it a little easier.
Why think about death? Sure, deep down we know that none of us are getting out of here alive, but why dwell on it? Your mother raised you to be considerate of others, and this is really what’s it all about. Your loved ones are going to be grieving. In order to keep wrong decisions being made, money wasted, or feelings hurt, shouldn’t there be an instruction manual?
Death for Beginners is broken down into useful chapters—such as “what to do with the body”, or “So who wants or needs to know”. You don’t have to have an expensive, traditional service. It was once common to hold the viewing in the deceased’s home, and if you’d rather not buy a cemetery plot, you can leave your body to science.
How many times have you read the obituaries or read in the paper that the funeral was yesterday? There’s a chapter that will help you decide whom to tell and when. As well as advice for your obituary, how to do it—such as focusing on the life lived rather than a notice of death. Also in our digital age, don’t forget notification on Facebook and other social media website pages.
Where is your password? Your PIN numbers? The key to the back door? How is your wife going to be able to access your Paypal account? When I’m Gone is a practical fill-in record book and resource manual to give instructions to those who are left behind, not only on will, funeral arrangements, or insurance, but on the day-to-day details of your life and household—such as your landlord’s phone number, or what your post office box number is.
Death can be a long-awaited trip, or an unexpected stop, but we all have to make the journey. Shouldn’t you leave your family a practical road map? So, pack your bags, update your passport, and get one of these books for your travel guide. Now that wasn’t so bad, was it? You are only going to get one chance to plan your funeral, and you know what happened the last time you let your aunt navigate...
No comments:
Post a Comment