Such a rich, aromatic blend, I do so enjoy my morning cup of Kopi Luwak. It's the world's most expensive and labor-extensive espresso. So dark, so delicious and it makes me feel soooo good about myself.
The greenest cup of java, it's environmentally friendly: I help contribute to the gross national product of Jakarta, and give those youngsters such a bright future.
No daily grind for these healthy children. Why, they could be slaving away in a dark, sweaty factory. Instead they get plenty of fresh air, and exposure to vitamin D rich sunlight. Just thinking about it makes me parched.
Do be a dear, and mix a pitcher of your famous daiquiris. Don't forget those little umbrellas. It brings back such pleasant memories of the beach, and communing with nature. I love swimming with the dolphins. Oh, that reminds me, make reservations at that new sushi bar for lunch.
All those little darlings have to do in order to procure my morning cup of Joe is sort through the dung after the berries have passed through the digestive tract of Paradoxurus hermaphroditus – no, not a Hermaphrodite, silly. That's the scientific name for the Asian Palm Civet.
Your Latin simply isn't where it should be. Did you not learn anything in the public school system? These cat-like creatures are found all over Southeast Asia. You really must go. I very much recommend Bangkok, delightfully sinful, the Venice of the East.
No, not that Venice – Italia, of course.Anyhoo, I was reading the New York Times. Of course, I'm liberal minded. Didn't I buy those delightful brownies your daughter made for her school's bake sale? So clever to put those little chocolate candies in them. You must give me the recipe. Anyway, the world's population is set to reach seven billion on Oct 31, give or take the odd immigrant.
That's Halloween. I simply adore Halloween. It's the only time of year you get to dress up like someone else and get away with it. I was going to go as a sex kitten again, but I haven't been able to get to the gym. Besides, I'm feeling cultural, I do believe I'll go as Juan, the gardener. Of course, I meant Pedro. Yes, I really do have to give credit where credit is due, and you can definitely "chalk" one up for those pagans. It really is too bad they are all going to Hell.
So, with 267 people being born every minute and 108 dying, it doesn't take a mathematical genius to see that the world's resources are going to be all too quickly depleted. The prediction is for another 3 billion by the end of this century. It makes me worry about the future and health of my stock portfolio, and my children's children portfolio.
The national economy has only experienced modest growth this summer and the unemployment rate hovers around 9%. Doesn't seem very high to me. You'll never get all the people to work anyway. If they want a job so bad, they should just work a little harder, or maybe get a job in the service industry. My favorite eatery needs more help, I had to wait in line yesterday. It didn't do a thing for my digestion.
Yes, they can just work their way up from the bottom, or the people could just enjoy the time off from the drudgery of their little lives. Maybe take some time to travel. Winter is coming and the South of France is delightful this time of year.
It's such a shame when one doesn't take time to "stop and smell the roses" After all, I never have all the time I need to do what must be done. Why, just yesterday I double-booked my massage session and my manicure. It was the worse five minutes of my life. I had to have the extra aura cleanse and the hot stones for my chakras, or I would have never made it through my day.
I can't even enjoy going into the city with this so-called Occupy Wall Street movement. Occupied sounds like a war zone, our own third world country right here in the heart of Manhattan. It's so ghetto. You can almost hear the chants of "Eat the rich!" Eat the rich?
That's just silly. We should eat the poor. There is simply so many more of them. That is exactly what we should do. I say let them eat cake. I like my meat nicely marbled. I like my meat tender.
Oh, I would never eat you, Maria. You are much too old, and who would mix my appletini? You do mix a mean one.
Maria's Big Apple Martini
2 oz of your favorite vodka.
1 oz of green-apple schnapps
Pour into shaker and shake well.
Serve in a chilled cocktail glass with a garnish of green apple slice
Drink to excess.
Enjoy!
Meat should melt upon the tongue, and I love good milk-fed veal. It's the perfect solution for those young welfare mothers who won't and can't raise their children properly, and it is so much more humane. I loved that veal roast you prepared for the last dinner party. Such a tasty mustard-and-lemon-seasoned crust.
Maria's Mustard Lemon Veal Roast
3 pound boneless baby
¼ cup fine dry bread crumbs
2 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon dried, crushed basil
1 teaspoon dried, crushed thyme
½ teaspoon ground pepper
In a small mixing bowl, mix together the bread crumbs, water, mustard, lemon juice, herbs, and pepper, spread mixture over meat.
Roast meat for 2 ½ to 3 hours at 325 degrees F.
Makes 10 to 12 servings.
Add some creamy garlic mashed potatoes, fresh steamed vegetables, and a decadent cheesecake, and your party will be the talk of the town. Stewed with spring leeks, or roasted with rosemary. A young and healthy welfare recipient will make a delicious and nourishing meal no matter how your maid serves it.
My very modest proposal will serve to keep the unemployment rate down, and America working. With less money going towards entitlement programs—such as social security and welfare – there can be more tax cuts, so daddy can grow the company and the Philippines is a great place for a new factory. I see a low carb diet in my future. Maybe I'll be able to fit into those yoga pants after all…
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