"You Can't Judge A Book..."

Kevin Coolidge

Yep, I love books always have. New books, used books, books protected by mysterious, dark guardians. Books with titles that jump out and bite you in the ankle, and titles that make you wonder what the author is trying to hide. I picked some titles that are good reads, but might make your librarian raise a scornful eyebrow….

Deer Hunting With Jesus: Dispatches from America’s Class War by Joe Bageant: Like a rage in heaven, Joe writes like an avenging angel of working class America. A raucous mix of down- home storytelling and political commentary reminiscent of Will Rogers mixed with Hunter S. Thompson- brutal, funny and at times tender. You ever wake up on the wrong side of the cave, and want a good reason to deep-fry a politician? Wake up and smell the coffee, read this book.

Island of the Sequined Love Nun by Christopher Moore: I could pick almost any of Christopher Moore’s books for strange names. He could win a Pulitzer with his titles alone. But any book with sequined and nun in the title has to make the list. Take Tucker Case, a disgraced airline pilot and a nerd in a cool guy’s body, a talking fruit bat, and a greedy missionary in Micronesia and you have the basis for a seriously funny book. Think Kurt Vonnegut mixed with Douglas Adams.

Plato and A Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes: A not-so-reverent crash course in philosophy 101. Are you are philosophy major and tired of asking if your customer wants fries with that? Maybe you should polish that act and take it on the road. After all, the best comics are philosophers of life, and that Nietzsche is one comical thinker.

The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break by Steven Sherrill: A man bull needs to get out and see the world. Five thousand years out of the Labyrinth and the Minotaur finds himself living in a trailer park and working as a line cook in the American South. An understated book about the quest for acceptance, and it’s not a one trick pony. Hey, there’s a little monster in all of us, but not all of us can grill.

How to Sh*t in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art by Kathleen Meyer: Despite the vulgarism in the title there’s a load of good information here. The boy scouts are always supposed to be prepared, but the Boy Scout manual is deficient when it comes to defecation. Kathleen not only introduces techniques for privacy, but also the environmental consequences, precautions to take for drinking water in the backcountry, and heaps of anecdotes and funny stories.

Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart by Jim Dawson: This makes the list because it’s so fun to go to the library and ask if they have it in, even if you own a copy. This book is actually well researched though there is some “potty humor”. A distasteful subject presented in such a way to make the topic culturally/historically interesting. Did you know the Arab word for “silent fart” and “death sentence” are only one letter different? And Benjamin Franklin wrote an essay called “Fart Proudly”? If you keep blaming the dog, buy this book.

Confessions of a Pagan Nun by Kate Horsley: I picked this title because it’s basically an oxymoron, and it’s another title with nun in it, and I can’t finish with a book about farts. It’s about a woman born at the dawning of the Christian era in Ireland. She was a druid before her conversion to Christianity. The book is poetically written and well researched with some interesting theological arguments wrapped in a compelling story.

Yep, you can’t judge a book by its cover or it’s title. Until you’ve read what’s written on each page. So grab your spectacles, testicles, wallet and a nice chunk of red meat for the dark, mysterious guardians and let the adventures begin…

Kevin Coolidge

Comments, questions, your favorite fart joke email me at frommyshelf@epix.net